The One

So recently I got into a discussion with a girl about when I am planning on getting married and starting a family... in her words ‘Have I not found my beloved yet? Or am I just too picky?’ And after defending myself, she then asked ‘then what type of guy are you looking for?’ And to be honest I had nothing to tell her, because I have never really had an ideal person, apart from the celebrities I see on T.V. maybe someone like Trey Songz...no.... wait...definitely Blair Underwood....but do I know any of their qualities....NO!....hmm, after getting side tracked, I started thinking quickly, and told her ‘If I have an ideal guy then is that not being picky?’

What is an ideal guy? And what is being picky? Personally, I feel if you have dated someone, anyone at all, then you can’t really be picky, because the qualities you are looking for, must have existed in whoever you were with...to some extent.  And it’s from the people you date that you decide what you want in an individual. Similarly, you also learn that there are other qualities you liked in someone, that you never had on your ‘list’. This should hopefully sort out the question of 'what type of guy am I looking for'

I have been told ‘You have to make someone how you want them’ however, I feel if you date to change people to your liking, that would be unfair, as that is not who they are. Things like time management, cleaning up after one self can be changed, but if someone is not a party animal....don’t force them to live in the clubs....

The ideal guy is a growing worry for women all over the world in the 20s, 30s, 40s and more.... I had a quick chat with a lady in her 60s who is now divorced. She was stressing herself out as she was off to a wedding where her ex will be there, so she had to make sure she looked fabulous! I sighed to myself and thought, ‘I was hoping this would stop by then, but it seems we can’t always have things figured out, and the people who say ‘everything will be fine’.... probably told her the same things in her 20s, and now 40 years late she is still looking for her ‘The One’’ After watching shows like ‘Single ladies ’and ‘Sex and the City’ they depict the modern girl in her 40s still looking for ‘The One’. But who is this ‘The One’? Will he come with references and a plank sign that reads ‘The One’?

So, I embarked on asking newly-weds or people who had just gotten engaged about how they knew the people they were with were ‘The One’ and I got various answers, but the most common one was ‘you just know it!!’ ......you just know what? What is it that I will all of a sudden know? What was so different about this person compared the last person you had dated?

Personal, I think it is all about good TIMING, where you are in your life... you have to feel you are ready to take that step... ‘The One’ doesn't come up with a plank or references....relationships have both good and bad sides, at the end of the day, you really have to have someone who makes you a better person, supports you in your crazy thoughts and the one who is not afraid to tell you when you are wrong and not being true to yourself....the person you enjoy spending time with....the one who you always consider before making a decision.

So to answer the question of who is my ideal guy it would have to be the person who will get me to say ‘You just know it!’

a little more on finances....I promise :)

From my first ever blog I spoke about personal finances and making a budget. Today, I am going to talk about ways I have invested my savings. This is not a lecture on investment, just a few easy things that will get your head thinking.

After my first pay, I was so happy to start my savings account. I wanted to put the money into an account, and see the interest coming in and see my saving grow. In the first few months that I started saving, interest rates were over 5%, monthly interest was really something. I would get £10 in a good month...then it happened, the global crisis took its toll, the Bank of England started cutting its interest rate down to a 0.5%!! Gone were the days of interest rates above £10, welcome to the era of the penny interest rates!

The options I am going to discussion are things I have tried and it does not consider long term investments. (This is not financial advice; this is just sharing what I have done!!)

So with the world of 0.5% interest what does one save in! Well if money isn’t really earning any interest why not put it in premium bonds, where if you are lucky, you could get drawn for the monthly prize award, £25 to £100,000 (though I have only known people to win the £50). The great thing about this option is the money is not in your reach so you can’t just go into a shop and spend it BUT it can be changed to cash quickly, at no cost! And the prizes are tax free!

The other option I have ventured into was investing in the FTSE tracker....I used to hear people talk about this but did not really know how to get into it or even where to begin....thanks to Google and moneysupermarket.com, I found out who could offer this service and at what cost. I will admit, the better option if you are looking to lock in money over £1,000 is just to go to your local bank and ask  them and ‘I believe’ you never lose your original investment, which is really good! All earnings are also tax free.

After all this I settled for Virgin Money, you can invest any amount as low as £1 and they charge 1% of your investment value when you remove you savings. Only problem is they don’t promise to protect your initial investment and for a first time investor August 2011 was a very tense month for me, with the market going down and debating on removing my savings. As it turns out, it does go back up; you just have to have some patience.

Finally, my personal favourite and quickest way to make a bit of money is just opening a Halifax reward account and pay in £1,000 a month and keep it overnight and you get £5 each month, this is the easiest money I am making money at the moment. Even though it is £60 over the year, but for 12 days for a few hours a YEAR, it’s too good a deal to pass! It’s a guaranteed £5 extra....why not! And if you are thinking really for £5 a month, well am guessing if you saw a £5 note on floor you would not pick it up....thought so....

Finally, it’s always good to have online savings accounts as they give you a higher return than normal saving accounts and you will be ready and waiting for when the interest rates start going up!

Personal finances

With the world becoming global, and the fast expansion of the internet, I found myself one evening watching a few Youtube clips on pretty much everything, ‘Bantu curls’, ‘sh*t Nigerian parents say’, ‘how to get a perfect smokey eye’, ‘forgetting an ex boyfriend’, ‘the new Rihanna music video’, ‘how to clean mussels’, name it everything can be found on the internet, with step by step details of exactly what you need to do.

After settling on watching Eddie Griffin’s stand up, I found myself compelled to get involved, share my experiences, thoughts, and possibly even pass on some knowledge.

The topic I will talk about today is on personal finance. I know...... not as interesting as some of the clips I saw on Youtube, but, hey.....I need to start somewhere. I find the issue on personal finance is assumed knowledge. However, not one class has any teacher actually gone through it....or at least not in my classes!! The shock when you leave your parents home and get your first bill! Though we are surrounded by water it sure as hell aint free!!

The first budget I made....well, more like my father made, was when I was going to uni, he budgeted down to the laundry soap! With life’s changes I had to flex my budget, after years of making budgets and always having a big pot of ‘miscellaneous’ I thought it was time to really sort out my finances....but alas, i kept on making budget upon budget with ‘miscellaneous’ and ‘overdraft funds’. And with over draft fund come credit cards, and with credit cards comes the vicious cycle of DEBT!!! It might start as £50 in one month, then you add another £50, and to justify the following months credit card usage, you tell yourself ‘but everyone lives on debt, it’s just how MODERN life is’.

So, last year finally, I learnt ‘how to make the perfect budget’ thanks to a really good friend. This budget gets you to really review, WHAT you are spending and HOW much you should be spending. 

  

So with this budget you split your income into 6 sections:

1.        NECESSITIES; this includes your rent, your bills, food and all other essentials for running your life.

2.        SAVINGS; this is your monthly savings. It’s never too earlier to begin saving for a car, a house etc.

3.        LONG TERM SAVING; this is savings that you will need in your old age, yes....I said it.....old age....even if you have just started work, it’s a good habit to get into. Put it into something you won’t have quick access to i.e. treasury bills, fixed interest bonds or a house (after your money grows J)

4.        CHARITY/CHURCH; the more you give the more you receive! This is healthy for your conscience. J

5.       HOLIDAY/EDUCATION fund; this fund is for holidays or extra education fund, other projects u might be looking into.

6.      ME!!; this is my favourite fund, this is money for u to spoil yourself, if you want to get your hair done, nails, shopping, dinner, just treat yourself or even a PS3 ;) !!

So for the split, 50% of your pay should go to you necessities, and the other 5 accounts get 10%. To start off with I suggest you make a month account and see how much you are currently using in each fund....it’s something good to look at going forward, if you earn £1000 and use £800 for your necessities that’s 80% of your wage is a lot, you are living to pay bills! You could look at cheaper accommodation, bundle up your service provider (t.v, phone, internet), share accommodation. The good thing about this is when you salary increases it doesn’t go to bills, it goes to the most important person in your life YOU!