The One

So recently I got into a discussion with a girl about when I am planning on getting married and starting a family... in her words ‘Have I not found my beloved yet? Or am I just too picky?’ And after defending myself, she then asked ‘then what type of guy are you looking for?’ And to be honest I had nothing to tell her, because I have never really had an ideal person, apart from the celebrities I see on T.V. maybe someone like Trey Songz...no.... wait...definitely Blair Underwood....but do I know any of their qualities....NO!....hmm, after getting side tracked, I started thinking quickly, and told her ‘If I have an ideal guy then is that not being picky?’

What is an ideal guy? And what is being picky? Personally, I feel if you have dated someone, anyone at all, then you can’t really be picky, because the qualities you are looking for, must have existed in whoever you were with...to some extent.  And it’s from the people you date that you decide what you want in an individual. Similarly, you also learn that there are other qualities you liked in someone, that you never had on your ‘list’. This should hopefully sort out the question of 'what type of guy am I looking for'

I have been told ‘You have to make someone how you want them’ however, I feel if you date to change people to your liking, that would be unfair, as that is not who they are. Things like time management, cleaning up after one self can be changed, but if someone is not a party animal....don’t force them to live in the clubs....

The ideal guy is a growing worry for women all over the world in the 20s, 30s, 40s and more.... I had a quick chat with a lady in her 60s who is now divorced. She was stressing herself out as she was off to a wedding where her ex will be there, so she had to make sure she looked fabulous! I sighed to myself and thought, ‘I was hoping this would stop by then, but it seems we can’t always have things figured out, and the people who say ‘everything will be fine’.... probably told her the same things in her 20s, and now 40 years late she is still looking for her ‘The One’’ After watching shows like ‘Single ladies ’and ‘Sex and the City’ they depict the modern girl in her 40s still looking for ‘The One’. But who is this ‘The One’? Will he come with references and a plank sign that reads ‘The One’?

So, I embarked on asking newly-weds or people who had just gotten engaged about how they knew the people they were with were ‘The One’ and I got various answers, but the most common one was ‘you just know it!!’ ......you just know what? What is it that I will all of a sudden know? What was so different about this person compared the last person you had dated?

Personal, I think it is all about good TIMING, where you are in your life... you have to feel you are ready to take that step... ‘The One’ doesn't come up with a plank or references....relationships have both good and bad sides, at the end of the day, you really have to have someone who makes you a better person, supports you in your crazy thoughts and the one who is not afraid to tell you when you are wrong and not being true to yourself....the person you enjoy spending time with....the one who you always consider before making a decision.

So to answer the question of who is my ideal guy it would have to be the person who will get me to say ‘You just know it!’